Christian Nutters

Ok, so we know about Landover Baptist. It is a parody so close to the truth that it confuses people when they first see it, and offends many fundies because the truth hurts.
I've just found the web site of a group that are for real. And they are so twisted, so mental, it is mind boggling.
They call themselves Bible Believers

I would like to post some exerpts from their pages, such as their "Our Principles" page but the language is so packed with churchy jargon that I can't make head or tail of it.

In their page of Christian ABC's we have the usual nonsense but here it's more intense. The language is apocalyptic.

Christians are those of Adam's race who have been born the second time... Spiritually. The fact we require a second birth indicates something was not right with our physical first birth. It points to how procreation began and to the original sin between Eve and the Serpent, a man-like creature before God changed his form and put him on his belly.
Eve disbelieved God. Adam took her back forfeiting our birthright: dominion over earth, to Satan. God's penalty is death upon all who come under Satan's dominion. As a consequence we are all formed in iniquity, conceived in sin, born into a world ruled by Satan, and separated from the Presence of God.

"those of Adam's race" What does that mean? Humans? It turns out they are very big on geneology and race. They have articles blethering on about how modern Jews are not real Jews. They reckon jesus was not Jewish but "Judean" ie. from Judah and it has been a "jewish" conspiracy (by the fake jews that is) to mistranslate the scriptures and pass themselves of as real jews. See their article "The Blasphemy of them Which say they are Jews, and are Not"
They have a sin I've never heard of before: "hybreeding" but they don't explain exactly what it is

I challenge you to find me a nuttier bunch of christians than this lot. No, not even Westboro Baptist. They may be poisonous and low-down, but their theology is actually pretty logical, by biblical standards. I reckon I've hit the motherlode of christian whackjobs with the Bible Believers

Did you know the original sin resulted in adultery? And when God saw the descendants of Adam interbreeding with the descendants of Cain, it repented the Lord that He had made man on the earth. It so grieved Him that He destroyed the world with a flood. God hates hybreeding, yet we mix our creeds with the Word and expect Him to receive our worship. I said the same spirit in natural fornication is manifest in impure worship

Barking mad, the lot of them.

I love the Bible

Because it is so WEIRD!

The latest weirdness I've been looking at in the Bible, is the issue of people taken phisically, bodily, direct to heaven, without dying.
Our candidates are:
Enoch: (Genesis 5:22-24 & Hebrews 11:5)

Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away.

Elijah: (2 Kings 2:11)

As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind

Moses: By inference, because he appeared with Elijah when Jesus was "Transfigured"
Jesus: Well, duh.
Mary, mother of Jesus: by Pope Pius XII, on November 1, 1950

By the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and by our own authority, we pronounce, declare, and define it to be a divinely revealed dogma: that the Immaculate Mother of God, the ever Virgin Mary, having completed the course of her earthly life, was assumed body and soul into heavenly glory

What I find weird is that we are taught, we assume that heaven is a spiritual place, somewhere we can't go. Yuri Gagarin was the first to go into space and declared that he couldn't find it. And yet thare are at least 4 (if you want to stick to the Bible) and maybe more actual flesh and blood people there. Do the still talk? Sweat? Sleep? Dream? Shiver? Laugh? Cry?
As physical things we are affected by gravity. These guys in heaven, do they walk about or float, or teleport, or what? HOW DOES IT WORK?

But that's why I love the Bible, I never seem to find an end to the weirdness and surprises. Because I was reading about Enoch, I found all that stuff about how old those guys were supposed to be, and about the Nephilim. Weird. I'll never know why christians don't blush. When I was a christian, we studied cults in church (JW, Mormonism, Scientology etc) to be better armed against heresy. How could we laugh at Smith translating the Book of Mormon thru his magic goggles and not see how stupid our own beliefs were?