Monday, November 26, 2007

Christian Nutters

Ok, so we know about Landover Baptist. It is a parody so close to the truth that it confuses people when they first see it, and offends many fundies because the truth hurts.
I've just found the web site of a group that are for real. And they are so twisted, so mental, it is mind boggling.
They call themselves Bible Believers

I would like to post some exerpts from their pages, such as their "Our Principles" page but the language is so packed with churchy jargon that I can't make head or tail of it.

In their page of Christian ABC's we have the usual nonsense but here it's more intense. The language is apocalyptic.
Christians are those of Adam's race who have been born the second time... Spiritually. The fact we require a second birth indicates something was not right with our physical first birth. It points to how procreation began and to the original sin between Eve and the Serpent, a man-like creature before God changed his form and put him on his belly.
Eve disbelieved God. Adam took her back forfeiting our birthright: dominion over earth, to Satan. God's penalty is death upon all who come under Satan's dominion. As a consequence we are all formed in iniquity, conceived in sin, born into a world ruled by Satan, and separated from the Presence of God.

"those of Adam's race" What does that mean? Humans? It turns out they are very big on geneology and race. They have articles blethering on about how modern Jews are not real Jews. They reckon jesus was not Jewish but "Judean" ie. from Judah and it has been a "jewish" conspiracy (by the fake jews that is) to mistranslate the scriptures and pass themselves of as real jews. See their article "The Blasphemy of them Which say they are Jews, and are Not"
They have a sin I've never heard of before: "hybreeding" but they don't explain exactly what it is

I challenge you to find me a nuttier bunch of christians than this lot. No, not even Westboro Baptist. They may be poisonous and low-down, but their theology is actually pretty logical, by biblical standards. I reckon I've hit the motherlode of christian whackjobs with the Bible Believers
Did you know the original sin resulted in adultery? And when God saw the descendants of Adam interbreeding with the descendants of Cain, it repented the Lord that He had made man on the earth. It so grieved Him that He destroyed the world with a flood. God hates hybreeding, yet we mix our creeds with the Word and expect Him to receive our worship. I said the same spirit in natural fornication is manifest in impure worship

Barking mad, the lot of them.

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At 10:00 pm, Anonymous the chaplain said...

Well, in addition to being batsh*t crazy, they have no taste. That is the god-awfullest, ugliest web site I've seen in a while.

At 10:18 pm, Blogger Stew said...

We ain't got no time for no stinkin' aesthetics, we got sinners to save!

At 10:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I dunno, chaplain, the website could have been brown. Of course, this is a matter of taste -- I only like brown on soil, coffee, or chocolate (preferably chocolate).

On second thoughts, brown might have been a more appropriate color for the website (not because of soil, coffee, or chocolate).

At 10:42 pm, Blogger travelling, but not in love said...

OMG (forgive the blasphemy). That truly is one ugly website.

If ever the devil had his hand in web-design, it was on that site.

I once got stuck for three days with some Plymouth Brethren. It wasn't a fun three days, and wasn't helped by the fact that I had to eat on my own at a separate table.

They had no computers, no TV's and a fax machine that was in a neighbour's garage, to 'keep the devil at bay'.

Bonkers the lot of em. But hey, with them being scared of technology and all, at least they won't be inflicting ugly websites on us non-believers....

At 11:36 pm, Anonymous heather said...

Good link to stunningly ugly site. The ugliness of the site doesn't come close to the ugliness of the content though.


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