Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Palmistry, Numerology, Astrology: Bullshit

The other evening at the cafe, the tall, dark Camille was looking at Sylvia's palm. "It has to be the left palm", he said, "because that is the side of the heart." He complimented her on her long lifeline.
"I wonder how that works then, Fiona" Sylvia asked my wife.
"I'll think you'll find that it doesn't, Sylvia. It's all a load of nonsense."

This got me thinking. How can people accept stuff like this without question. I started looking at my own palm, the lines, the wrinkles and then I had a vision - Why the lines on the hand? Why not other lines? Why not the lines on your wrist?
And thus was born the ancient art of Bracchiumism (from the Latin Bracchium - wrist).

Ask your client to make a fist and cock their wrist to accentuate the wrinkles below the wrist.

The hand has to be in a fist because that harnesses the client's life energy. If the hand is open, then the lighter lines that denote the earliest childhood years and the last golden years will be diminished as the lifeforce escapes from the fingertips
Count the number of lines that encircle the wrist.
Multiply the number of lines by 15 and add the number of lines created by the curve of the thumb. (The number 15 was sacred to the Chaldeans of Persia because it was the ratio used by their architects to determine the slope of a stepped pyramid. Freemasons also have their origins in Chaldea, but they try and keep this information secret. The thumb was known by the ancients to be a center of physical strength and energy). In the photos of my hand this would give a lifespan of 78 years.
After telling your client that Bracchiumism is little known, but practiced by the Gypsies of Southern France, who brought it with them when they came from Persia, you can then tell them that actually the whole thing is completly made up and a load of hogwash, just like all the others.
When you run through this rigmarole of course you can use any old numbers and multiply them by whatever you need to get the result of a nice long lifespan.

Sod's law though, I'll probably come across Bracchiumism being practiced for real and no-one will believe it was I who invented it.

5 Comments:

At 10:04 pm, Blogger Bronze Dog said...

Well, I'm one witness. Then again, I'm a corporate shill, so no one'll believe me, either.

 
At 12:53 am, Blogger MichaelBains said...

He is.

A shill, I mean. {-;

Good one Stew! And nice Farmer's getup. I love it! lol

 
At 12:52 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some thorough palmistry-research is presented at: www.handresearch.com

 
At 8:52 am, Anonymous saswata said...

Ofcourse your deduction that palmistry is bullshit is sheer lack of information or ignorance. For that matter even there are thousands of so called doctors and scientists who take tons of mistakes. Do we call therefore that medicine or science is bullshit??

Anyway.. you have all rights to keep your faith to yourself..

http://forum.predictguru.net

 
At 8:17 am, Anonymous Adorn said...

Hey Dears,

Its really nice to see this article. Actually as coin is two sided, this issue also has two sides. I would like to share my story here, though not in very detail.

I personally think that human nature is just like a water in the sea, so so unstable. So the phase comes in everybody's lifespan when he believes that Astrology is true to the highest point and same person, in some different scenario would say what rubbish all this is! Fear is the huge factor why people approach astrologers. My own experience I would like to share. I was so afraid and nothing was going my way. Every decision I made turned into proving me wrong. Not a single thing happened the way I wanted it to happen. So in such a bad time I had to take a very important plan, rather an exam. After the time I did it and had to wait for the outcome for one month, I was very unrestfull. I feared what would happen and started thinking too much about future.

Things started from the lines on hand and went levels up. The day came what I was waiting for. I lost it all. I was very depressed, heartbroken and collapsed. But then again I had to start anew from the point where I was. I did it. After some sincere work, I got the thing I wanted. I reached there. And came to point, where currently I am, that only sincere, hard, smart work ,right attitude cam make me succeed and not the lines on the hand or any planet.

I think this would definitely help someone who thinks astrology is living thing. Please come out of it. It will not only waste your money but something more important than it: time, sleep of night, peace of mind.

Regards,
Adorn, India.

 

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